Should You Confess? The Guilt and Consequences of a One-Time Affair

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I am married for 11 years with 3 kids. Have a wife who i like (i like her face, i am attracted to her, i like to have sex with her but i do not use the word love because i am not a teenager). For me sex is not intercourse. I want her to hold me from behind when I feel cold or when my back hurts. I want to hold her from behind when she wants to turn other side. There is nothing better than holding soft and warm breasts. Yes that’s me. So who is stopping. Well she will be asleep before you even realize. I keep passing remarks to make the mood whole day and then there she is nicely asleep. Well that’s fine. I can still hold her from behind if I want. Yes, for that you may have to get within 4 layers of cloth. Who sleeps in tight t shirts with full bra and a panty and thick pajamas? And if are thinking i should be saying this to the right person. Well, that’s what i have been doing for the last 11 years but of no good. I get some string lingerie to spice up. keep it in open view. No reaction except that ‘i find those uncomfortable’. Seriously, did i ask her to go to her work in that.
I can not hurt my wife because she is the mother of my kids and because I am her only love. Yes, she still uses the words like love. I don’t know what that means though. And she claims she does everything possible for me. For me that everything just includes that one thing. I can cook, i can clean, i can play with kids. And many other cans. And I do all those cans. Still she misses even clear hints of what i have been waiting for a week, 2 weeks, a month or even more. Either she is dumb, or she does not care or she is too lazy or she really gets tired by end of day. And a man’s ego would not let him beg for sex. You can talk more than enough times but after that it starts sounding like begging. At that point you stop and your anger and frustration starts showing up on the family and you end up not doing sex even when she tries to make you happy after realizing after a month or so that this idiot must be unhappy because of that. Seriously.

For me, I am so egoist that I can not have sex with a paid pro. Sex is satisfying only with the person you know and you also know that she needs sex. And probably that’s why i think a dating site where men and women with common requirements meet would be more satisfying. It will still be a bit dicey and risky. I will always be comfortable sleeping full nude on top of my wife but always be alarmed with any other person. But who will explain this to her. Not me. I am done . I would rather keep that anger burning till it explodes into prostitution or tinder.

Now, about Emily’s observation that married men are on tinder. No dear. A very minor percentage of all those unhappy souls are on tinder or cupid. But of course many like me are there reading and writing on the net. Taking out the frustration and also learning from some experienced commenters that cheating is not worth and then going to bed a bit re-leaved to start another day.
Début de l'événement 12.02.2022
Fin de l'événement 12.02.2022